In spite of the above diagnosis, I have yet to contact Dr. Kevorkian—
as I believe this number can be lowered through the successful test marketing of these two upcoming Valentine’s Day cards. This theory has yet to be confirmed by leading medical journals, but I’m willing to serve as a human guinea pig in the experiment.
Let the scavenger hunt begin! Hidden somewhere in the secret stores that carry the Recycled Paper Greetings line you might find the card on the left that is my first photo-based design (type on actual card much smaller, just enlarged here for sake of legibility). Theoretically, large sales of the card could result in my cat actually covering the cost of all the lost paper towels. Unfortunately, they didn’t go for my alternate inside message, “Thus proving origami is not for pussies.”
On the right, I’ve “stretched” myself to use screened color in the background. We’ll see how it actually prints before I pat myself on the back. Do very much like the interior copy, “I just wanna be your Valentine! (I have no other career goals).”
So that’s what’s happening now but, “What was going on eleven years ago this month?” you might ask (well, probably not, but for sake of argument, let’s pretend you did). Funny you should ask, as here are four black and white cartoons from December 1993, which you can click on to enlarge and read more about.
If you were to diagram these cartoons from week to week on a scale of “lame” to “pretty good” the resulting graphic would look like an uppercase “N”. Seems the odd weeks pale in comparison to the even weeks, hmmmm... Coincidence or mystical magical sign of apocalyptic doom?!?!? Who can really say? Feel free to email your thoughts and feelings on the issue.
In closing, since I used a photo of Christmas ornaments as a background image, let’s pause to remember the true meaning of the season (subliminal message: parting with your cash in ways that could benefit me) and check out the order form where some new greeting cards have been added.
Enjoy your slide into the New Year,
